seasons.

one of the main longings of my heart lately as
been for the Lord to just let me write again.
i rarely write like i used to ...

on that note, i rarely take pictures like i used to.
so i ask the Lord to stir those passions within me and to let them flow like they once did.

though i am learning of the new that i am becoming,
much of me anticipates the good of the old me that will soon return--
such like passions being restirred and adventures once longed for being fulfilled.

lately, one of the greatest lessons that i haved learned
has revolved around one simple word: seasons.
surely solomon said it best when he proclaimed
that the Lord knows what He is doing in the grand scheme
of all of His timing and placement of people, places and scenarios in our lives...
ecclesiastes 3:1-14:

1TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:
2A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,
3A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up, 4A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away, 7A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak, 8A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 9What profit remains for the worker from his toil? 10I have seen the painful labor and exertion and miserable business which God has given to the sons of men with which to exercise and busy themselves. 11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12I know that there is nothing better for them than to be glad and to get and do good as long as they live; 13And also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor--it is the gift of God. 14I know that whatever God does, it endures forever; nothing can be added to it nor anything taken from it. And God does it so that men will [reverently] fear Him [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].

i remember the days that i hated being in a certain season of my life ...
whether it was the season of Him birthing perseverence in me
through the nagging long hours of high school or if it was through the
times when i was most impatient from summer to summer between each
travel and adventure that beckoned me to come.
i utterly hated them and wanted otherwise.
i wanted to be in that "next step" of my life ...
whether it was to be engaged or married or
at the honor academy or out of america and in
the beautiful soil of foreign land... all of it was
what filled my waiting and wantings...

i spend countless nights asking the Lord to just
transport me through time but in my infancy,
i didn't know the richness of that time.

i am sure that He listened to my pleas with
eager anitcipation for moments when those seemingly
useless nights would be revealed to me as full of meaning
and of great worth...

so, here i am realizing the great worth of many
seasons that i didn't enjoy fully ...
that i didn't engage my heart into ...
that i didn't seek to know the Lord's purposes for...

and now, i am provoked.
surely something He has evoked out of me ...
some purpose-filled desire to know the Lord of all seasons.
for He is the One who has solely crafted
and placed me into these seasons.

God, draw my attentions my affections my
wants and desires towards You.
so that i won't miss another season and lose out on its richness..
may i wait just a little longer to
fulfill His purposes for this time...

oh that i would be others minded
and not selfish in my desires.
for surely i want much for my life,
but who am i to know when would be the
best time for Him to turn the page?!

Perseverance, come have your way with me.
come and complete your works in me
that i may move forward.
please, oh please don't pass me by ... you are necessary...
oh so necessary for me to trek forward into new seasons..
[ james 1:4 But let endurance and steadfastness and patience [and perseverance] have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing. ]

so Lord, i ask that you would help me to see
the beauty of this season.
the one that i am currently in.
come, reveal Your grand purposes for it to me.
i ask for Your mercies to be new right now to me...
surely, this journey costs me everything.


its all for Your beautiful name....